I prayed all the way there.
An hour and half to get my heart right. An hour and thirty minutes to be brought low, and be lifted up. Ninety minutes to have my eyes adjusted to reality – not the here and now, but the then and there.
The truth is I felt unsure. I wondered if this was really where I needed to be. Would I have the right words to say to these young moms, these ones who have seen and experienced so much heartbreak? So much pain? So much injustice?
As the young women filled the room where I’d be sharing my story, God’s truth, I watched and wondered. Watched and prayed. Watched and pleaded with God – “Do your will in spite of me. Have your way and help me to get out of the way.”
I shared the story of how we all began, how we were formed in the image of our Creator. They watched me with open eyes, they laughed when I joked, they listened and some even nodded their heads in agreement. “You are beautiful” I said. “There is nothing you can do to add to that beauty, and there is NOTHING you can do to lose it. It’s who you are!”
Later than evening I shared my story, the ups and downs, the moments of pure devastation and the hope found in Christ, found in truth. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made, you carry the image of God, you are full of destiny. God loves you and has an incredible plan for your life.” If only my speaking it out loud would make them believe it, really believe it. Not just in their heads, but deep deep down in their wounded, broken, ever-seeking hearts.
After the session each one came forward, and each one was given a book and a prayer. And as I lay my hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, my prayers from that ninety minute drive were answered. I saw her, really SAW her. Not just as she was in that moment, but the potential of who God created her to be. And we prayed. Words of life and truth whispered, embraces of love and hope given.
Another hour and half drive to pray and process. An hour and thirty minutes to both thank and question God. Ninety minutes to wonder how a girl can looks so old and worn – so young and vulnerable all at the same time.