All About C

This little man is keeping me busy!

He’s definitely getting more of a personality, which happens to include some serious stubbornness (wonder where he got that from?!?)  To be honest, I’ve had some frustrating moments in the last few days because the little Mr. has decided he’s going to cry and fuss every time I try to nurse him.  That’s been a lot of fun…

So yesterday Alex and I got a last minute offer for babysitting (thanks mom!) and could actually go out for Valentine’s day.  As we were planning out our evening C had a melt down (over nursing, of course) and then I had a melt down.  I stormed into the bathroom and locked the door (very mature). I’m not sure who I was locking out…it’s not like my 7 month old was gonna come waltzing in, demanding his supper…

And as I was busy melting down in the bathroom I was hit with the reality (once again) that MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN.

There is no more tangible way of realizing this (for me) than becoming a mother.  Cuz guess what?  Daddy can’t feed the boy.  And as much as I wanted to just storm out of the house and go “cool down”, “have some me-time”, “decompress”, at that moment I couldn’t.

And to be honest, I’m glad.  I’m glad the Lord is using this beautiful, precious, sweet baby boy to rid me of my deep, dark selfishness.  What a gracious Lord He is, to choose such a gentle, loving way of refining me. 

I know there are more difficult and painful ways of teaching this lesson, but it is His kindness (not His wrath) that leads us to repentance.

Thanks be to God.

3 thoughts on “All About C

  1. I am right there with you! My kiddo makes me want to scream sometimes, and it always comes back around to a spotlight shining on my own imperfections. It’s a constant process… this motherhood thing. p.s…. so envious that you were able to get a babysitter. We were not, so we didn’t get a date night this year. Maybe I’ll get some hubby time next year. Hmm.

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