In the weeks following my first conversation with Beth, God continued to show me just how messed up I really was. What surprised me the most was that the hurts from my elementary and Jr. High years were affecting my present day much more than I realized. I began to see that the main reason I couldn’t let go of the unhealthy relationship I’d been in and out of for the past three years, was because I honestly believed that I didn’t deserve anything better. The rejection I’d experienced had left me deeply wounded and until I allowed God to heal those hidden places, I wouldn’t be able to walk forward in freedom.
So one day I went for a long walk down the beach in front of camp and had a serious conversation with the Lord.
“God, show me the lies I’ve been believing that are keeping me stuck. I want to be free.”
That day I saw for the first time, the lie the enemy had been whispering in my ear for years, “Heather, you will always be left behind. You’re not worth anything more.” And not only did I see the lie for what it was, but I saw the way it had been affecting my relationships, my decisions, my lifestyle.
And that day Jesus spoke His truth into that painful place, “Heather, I was left behind in the worst way so that you never have to be.”
I spent the rest of the summer letting that truth sink deep into my heart, filling up the empty places, healing the raw wounds, bringing me a freedom I never thought possible. Finally I had the strength to end the relationship once and for all, but more than that, I was free to dream again.
Those simple yet profound words changed my life. From that point on I’ve never been the same. I will be forever grateful that God spoke His truth to me in just the way I needed to hear it.