I have a 4 year old and an almost 6 year old (gasp! how did that happen so fast?) and they teach me something new almost every day. They live with such freedom and passion. They have no fear of man. They only want to explore and discover, preferably with mom and dad.
When my babies lay their heads on their pillows at night, they aren’t thinking, “Did I do enough today? Were people impressed with me? Did I do enough to earn my parents love?”
Instead they’re thinking, “Do I feel loved? Did I have fun? Did I spend time with my mom and dad and others that love me?”
What if we kept this kind of childlikeness when we evaluated ourselves at the end of the day? What if instead of mentally adding up all the wins and losses, the successes and failures, the compliments and slights, we asked ourselves, “Did I feel loved today? Did I have fun? Did I spend time with my Dad and others that love me?” What if we measured the success of our day based on relationship, connection, closeness and love?
In an environment like BSSM (the ministry school I’m attending right now), it’s very easy to feel a lot of pressure to change the world, win people to Christ and see signs, wonders and miracles on a regular basis. And although the heart behind it is so good (it is the gospel after all!), for a recovering performance-addict like me, it’s easy to fall back into my old ways. It’s easy to look at my day and feel it was a loss because I didn’t share the gospel with the clerk at the checkout. And I didn’t stop everything and pray for the women with crutches and see her be instantly healed.
Even though I desperately want to see these things, I never want them to become the measure of my success or value as a daughter of God. Maybe as a slave, but not as a daughter.
So instead I’m choosing to evaluate my day as a daughter would. Did I listen to my Dad’s voice? Did I say yes when He asked me to do something? Did I experience His love and affection in a way that filled me up so I could love others?
What about you? How do you measure yourself?
As a slave needing to please and impress God and man?
Or as a loved son or daughter, needing only to hear the voice of your Father and say “yes”?