“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
Scanning through my inbox over a steaming mug of hot coffee – liquid energy. Tiny blue dots mark unread words of hope, encouragement, and occasionally disappointment. A message of rejection, or news of unmet expectations.
Today’s message is one of those. No news of death or sickness. No serious news to most. But for me, the words tear small holes in the thin veil of confidence I’ve woven. This is the problem with “self-confidence”, isn’t it? A confidence made by self, dependent on the success of self, is always thin and fragile.
A day is long and tiring when lived on our own strength. Cancelled appointments become personal rejection, impatient children like mirrors reflecting back our every weakness and shortcoming. “If only I was more confident, more patient, more, more, more.” The hands on the clock seem to move in slow motion, teasing us with every drowsy tick. On a day like this the husband is always home too late, the naps too short, the coffee too weak.
He comes home tired, worn, dust-covering him thin, like that veil of confidence I’ve tried to maintain this day. It’s swept away with the breeze from opening doors and tears spring to tired eyes. I save up my moments of breakdown these days, waiting for another set of arms to hold the little life so dependent, so sensitive. I don’t want the little one to see mamma cry, to see the cracks, to watch the tears sink deep into those cracks and pull the earth right apart.
On days like today its hard to tell truth from lie. Its easy to forget there’s a vicious enemy who is always accusing and always looking for the cracks. Who wants to steal joy, and kill hope. Who whispers, “that veil of self confidence is all you’ve got. Look how thin and worn and torn it is. You’ve never been good enough. You never will be.”
But as with all lies, one glimmering word of truth sends them to flight.
“For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” Galatians 3:27
I don’t need to grasp at the tattered scraps and shreds of self, of self-confidence or self-loathing. I have been dressed anew, in a cloak that cannot be torn.
I am clothed in Christ.
His confidence – mine. His royal standing with the Father – my security. His grace – my covering.
“He who overcomes will thus be clothed in white garments; and I will not erase his name from the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.” Revelations 3:5