I haven’t posted here in far too long.  My brain feels too foggy to write anything inspiring. I blame the lack of sleep.

However, I have been writing about the changes in our family on my personal blog, birch & bay.  You can check ‘em out here.

Hosted by:

Heather | Brittany | Lauren | Ginna | Kerrie

Hayley | Amanda | Elizabeth | Alle | Ashton

Kerry | Courtney | Carrie | Moriah | Erin

I’m so thrilled to be co-hosting this amazing giveaway (worth $400!), for not just ONE, but TWO Influence Network LIFETIME Memberships! 

What does a Lifetime Membership include? Well I’m glad you asked.

Please check HERE for all the details!

This giveaway is open to ANYONE, but ONE Membership will be specifically reserved for someone who is not an Influence Network Member. Our hope is that this giveaway will enable someone who wouldn’t otherwise have money in their budget, to be apart of The Influence Network.

To enter simply follow the directions below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

on april 1st at 8:29pm, little miss claire entered the world.

7lbs 14 oz and 21 inches

here are a few photos to tide you over until i have the time/energy to write her full birth story.  i can’t wait to share it with you – it was something else!

just a few days old! little squishy face.

starting to look a little less squishy.

It’s feelings that so often lead to action, rather than thought.

source

It’d be better if it was thought because often our brain, our logic is more on point than our heart and our emotions. We know in our head God is trustworthy and we shouldn’t worry, but our heart is overcome with anxiety and so we speak and act from anxiety rather than trust.

“The heart is deceitful above all things”. – Jeremiah 17:9

I don’t think this verse is saying the heart is bad or wrong, it’s just not always on track with the truth. And that’s where the danger lies. When our heart believes a lie, like the ones our enemy is constantly telling us, our heart can become deceived.  And a deceived heart is a dangerous one.

I know because mine has been deceived often. Even now my heart struggles to trust God’s timing, to believe He’s made me beautiful, to know anything is possible with Him.

So how do we get our hearts to feel what they’re “supposed” to feel? To feel what a heart feels when it truly believes the truth?

We start with our thoughts. I have a pretty print from Naptime Diaries sitting right beside my computer screen with the words from Philippians 4:8. It reads:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

The key to getting our heart right is in this verse, yet this verse doesn’t talk about our heart. It talks about our mind.

The place to start is in our thoughts.

“You can’t stop a bird from flying over our heads, but you can stop it from making a nest in our hair.”

Those darn nasty-thought birds, they’re gonna keep flying by, trying to mess with your heart, but we don’t have to let them take up residence, poop all over the place, and weave a mess of lies.

You and I have the power to choose what we think about. I know, it’s hard for some of us wild-thinkers to believe, but it’s true. And it’s important.

Because what we behold we become.  If we think on truth, our hearts will begin to feel truth and our lives will be lived/decisions will be made, based on truth.

So if you’re heart has been unruly lately, don’t condemn it. Don’t try and force it into line. Instead, begin to fill your mind with the truth of God’s word and allow that truth to seep into your heart, changing it gently.

Pretty soon you’ll be feeling what you want to feel and living the way you hope to live.

I’m sharing my heart on the Influence Network blog today. Check it out HERE.

Winter is hanging on.

Outside the ground remains frozen, covered by more than a foot of snow, no longer fresh and fluffy, but hard and crusted. I eagerly wait for spring, for the sun to melt through the layers gathered all winter long. To reveal the green of newness, the tip of a a tulip pushing through dark earth, the bud of a leaf about to unfurl into life.

And a birth of another kind as well. Of a new life, a new soul, one that bears a little of her father and I, and carries the image of God.

But in the waiting I fear I’ve become crusted over like the old snow, my heart slightly hardened, my joy dampened by this long season.

It’s not that things have been bad. Life has been carrying on, each day right on the heels of the last, full of beautiful moments with my dear son, my amazing husband, my incredible family and friends. Life has been good, and if you asked me now how I was I’d say “good, but tired”, and it would be the truth.

But as I sat in worship this past Sunday morning, and lay my heart bare before the Lord, I saw the ice which had begun to form along the edges of the river – the one that flows between my heavenly Father and I. And I saw how that ice had become thicker and wider, slowing the flow of that powerful river – stopping up the joy and hope and peace and WORSHIP.

I’ve struggled with idols in the past – with pride and success, with ambition and self-righteousness.  But what I didn’t realize before was that fear, insecurity, hopelessness and despair are idols too – as real as any others.

Anything that takes the place of God’s truth on the throne of our lives is an idol.

So when I worry about when this winter will end and this new life will finally spring forth, and I allow that worry to stop up the joy in my life – it’s an idol. I worship the worry, rather than my Father.

And when I fear that I don’t have what it takes to push through these final cold days before embracing the warmth of the sun once again – it’s an idol. I worship the fear, rather than my God.

So today I cast down my idols. Idols of fear and worry, idols of insecurity and doubt. I choose to look past the winterandthe spring and instead set my sights on the God who changes one to the other. I choose to see past the discomfort and impatience as I wait for this precious gift to arrive, and instead fix my eyes on the God who wove her together in the depths of me.

Our present circumstances are inconsequential in the light of the goodness and power of our God. May He remain on the throne, may He be lifted High.

As this small world would have it, both my midwife and my husbands good friend submitted Mt. Kilamanjaro in Tazania, Africa this past month. Both made it to the top after seven grueling days of climbing. The climb itself can be be done in as little as five hours, but because of the altitude and extreme reduction of oxygen at the top (50% less than the bottom!) only the porters who climb these paths daily can make it up that fast.

As I met with my midwife yesterday to discuss my upcoming birth, she shared about how the experience of submitting the mountain is much like giving birth. You get up in the middle of the night, surrounded by the darkness, the cold, the wind howling in your ears. Each person climbs only by the light of their headlamp, casting a light no more than a foot in front of you. And with you head down, you take one deliberate step at a time, not looking to the left or the right, focused only on the guide leading your way.

“Going through labor is like this”, she said. “You must ignore the wind blowing around you, the cold seeping into your clothes, the people being carried down on stretchers around you, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

“It will be difficult, but at the end it will be worth it. Trust your body and trust the process.”

The reason the final ascent is made in the middle of the night is so that the climbers catch the rising of the sun from the summit of the mountain. She described the view, saying it was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. And I left my appointment totally inspired.

No, I’ve never gone through labor and delivery because Cohen was breech and overdue, resulting in a planned c-section. But this time baby is head down, in the perfect position, and my chances of having a successful natural birth are high. As I prepare to meet my daughter, I can’t help but think it will be a bit like this mountain climbing experience – difficult, painful, but oh so worth the view at the summit.

And how grateful I am to have a guide whom I trust implicitly, one who goes both before and behind me, whispering gently in my ear “this is the way, walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21).

This past week has been full of hard news. News of death, news of loss, news of unexpected sickness. It’s difficult to trust in the goodness of God when you see the world falling out from under those around you.

In each case, though the news doesn’t directly affect my life or my family, I feel the ripple of it. I ache with the pain of the mother who lost her son, the wife who fears for the health of her husband. My heart breaks for them as I imagine what it must feel like, how hard it must be to live first hand.

And as I pray for them through tears of compassion, I cling to the hope that this earth is not our home. That an earthly death is not our enemy because everything that makes us who we are as believers, is eternal. I cling to the hope of heaven.

This week I’m thrilled to be co-hosting A Meetup of Influential Women for the The Influence Network. I’m not sure I’ve raved about it enough, so let me take another moment to do so: The Influence Network is awesome. Seriously. If you’re a woman and you’re doing stuff online (and who isn’t?), then you need to join the network.

The Influence Network was created as a resource to help give your life online meaning. After spending the last two years blogging, writing and being active online, I can tell you that it can be a very isolating experience. By joining a network like Influence, you have the opportunity to connect with other Christ-loving, like-minded women through the forums, classes, and linkups like this one.

So without further shameless promotion, here’s how to join the link up: Write a post on your blog addressing the following three things and then link up below:

A photo of yourself that you love.

Three get-to-know-me things.

One valuable thing you’ve gained from the Network.

3 Things About Me!

1. I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I love wake boarding, rope swinging, cliff jumping, downhill skiing, sky diving, roller coaster riding and I really want to try bungee jumping.  The other day someone asked my husband “so do you think Heather’s skiing days are over?” and he just laughed. Six weeks to the day, after my C-section, I went wake boarding, so I’d say my adventure days are far from over.

2. I was a dancer for 10 years. I took jazz, modern, hip hop and even ballet. Now, if you’ve ever seen my quads you’ll know I wasn’t really built for ballet, but it was a huge part of my life for a long time. I’ve even considered taking another class sometime in the future. At the very least it would provide some good entertainment for the teacher and my fellow classmates.

3. I am passionate about Jesus.  You guys, I really love Jesus.  He’s such a good God, an amazing friend, and a great example to me. There is nothing that drives me more in life than following Jesus, bringing Him glory and making His name known.  I don’t always do the best job of it, but it’s truly what gets me up in the morning and keeps me up at night. Some days I get so hungry for heaven and that moment when I’ll get to see Him face to face, that it makes me physically ache. If there is only one thing I want you to know about me, it’s that. I love Jesus.

One thing I’ve learned through The Influence Network

Doing life in community is better than doing it alone. If you read my most recent post, it explains all this a bit more.  But the short version is that for the last few years I’ve been doing “ministry” (speaking and writing), as a lone ranger. This year God has been challenging me to connect with others, pour into them, and engage in community.  He’s provided some amazing answers to prayer in this area and one of those answer came through joining The Influence Network.  By being active on the forums, taking classes and reading the blog, I’ve also had the opportunity to contribute to the blog and teach a class (tomorrow night! check it out here).

And finally, a photo I kinda love.

Now it’s your turn!

Once you link your post, visit the blog of the person before you, and leave some kindness in the comments.

And again, include the following:

A photo of yourself that you love.

Three get-to-know-me things.

One valuable thing you’ve gained from the Network.

I grew up in an amazing church. I loved attending our kids church program, being apart of the youth group and volunteering on the drama team. I was mentored by some AMAZING women, both as small group and team leaders and was given the opportunity to grow in my gifts. When I walked into my church I felt accepted, loved, understood, and like I belonged. This was my experience from as far back as I can remember.

After getting married Alex and I moved to Australia to volunteer in a small church, me as a speaker/preacher and him as a worship leader. Our time in Australia was hard, to say the least. We were not apart of a healthy body and found ourselves in some of the most difficult relationships we’d ever encountered. We left that experience wounded and wondering what had gone wrong.

Coming back to Canada after that 6 months away was one of the most difficult times in my life and our marriage. The hurt was deep and I found myself less than eager to dive back into church life. I knew it wasn’t “the church” that had injured me, but it still felt scary to get involved in community again. Alex and I had also decided to find a new home church, one where we could start fresh as a married couple – which felt like a daunting task.

We found a new place to call home within a few months and have been attending there every since. Right away we knew it was where the Lord wanted us and three and half years later, still feel that. But it hasn’t been an easy journey.

Personally I’ve really struggled to get involved, build relationships and serve in our church. I’ve often been guarded, distant and unengaged.  As you can imagine, when this is how one approaches building new relationships, those relationships don’t flourish overnight. Almost four years later I still have moments where I feel like a stranger in my own church.

And I know it’s nothing anyone else has said or done. It’s me.

Today our pastor talked about the church as the body of Christ. I’ve heard similar sermons many times – but was struck by his words in a new way.

He spoke of how an amputated limb is useless – a foot, cut off from the leg – can do no good.

And through His words, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said this:

“Heather, don’t cut yourself off from the body. You will experience more fullness of life than you ever imagined IN CONNECTION with the rest of the body.” 

So many of us believers are lone rangers. We think about our faith journey as a personal relationship with Jesus and forget that we are all one body.

We all have something to offer the group that no one else can.

We are useless on our own.

And we actually hurt and hinder the rest of the body when we cut ourselves off.

These aren’t pleasant thoughts to dwell on.

But the more I think and pray through theses things, the more I realize that God brings the abundant life to us personally, through community. Yes we can experience fullness of life in those moments just between us and the Lord, but as we share them with others in community, those moments are only MAGNIFIED. Our joy is only increased.  Our understanding of God’s love, only made more complete.

“But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.” – 1 Corinthians 12:18

Today I’m encouraged to press into community more than I have before. To stop being guarded and to reach out to those whom God has surrounded me with.  I know it won’t be easy, but I also know it’s what He wants.

How about you? What has your experience with the church been like? Do you feel connected or are you in some way cut off?

————————————————————

This Thursday, March 7th (8pm CST) I will be teaching an online class open to ANYONE on the Basics of Public Speaking.  It’s $10 to attend and will be available as a recording if you can’t participate in real time. Check it out here: The Influence Network Classes